The Eight Things Jesus Says You Must Do To Get Into Heaven.

The most common misconception by Christians is that all one must do to gain entry to heaven is to "believe" that Jesus is the son of a God.
This can be described as "Christian AlaCarte" or more popularly known as Cafeteria Christianity. In essence picking and choosing which of the Bibles edicts they choose to recognize and which to ignore.
The bible, from Jesus' own jowls, gives clear instructions on how to get into heaven, they are as follows.

STEP 1. LUKE CH 10:25
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher," he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
26. "What is written in the Law?"(not commandments) he replied. “How do you read it?"
27. He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.
28. "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live."

STEP 2. LUKE 18:
18. A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
19. "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone.
20. You know the commandments: 'Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.
21. "All these I have kept since I was a boy," he said.
22. When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

STEP 3. LUKE CH 14 :26.
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.
27. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
33. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

STEP 4. JOHN 6 : 53.
Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.
54. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.

STEP 5. MATTHEW 18: 2.
He called a little child and had him stand among them.
3. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven

STEP 6. JOHN 3:
3. In reply Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.
4. "How can a man be born when he is old?" Nicodemus asked. “Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb to be born!"
5. Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit.
6. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.
7. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.'
8. The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."


STEP 7. MATTHEW 5:
17. "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.
18. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.
19. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
20. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

STEP 8. JOHN 3:
16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


O.K. Now lets look at these shall we?

1. Love god and all your neighbors..simple enough Eh?

2.Keep the commandments and SELL EVERYTHING...sell everything?? Your house, car, cell phone, computer, etc?Then be a deciple?
Hope you have an active E-Bay account and a lot of time to sell your stuff..

3.Now a few mind calisthenics are required. You have to hate everyone...

How can you honor your mother and father and hate them at the same time? How can you love your neighbors and hate them? Besides the fact that it is impossible to love anyone as you love yourself. Then again a reaffirmation of giving(selling) EVERYTHING you own.

4.Eat Flesh and drink blood???...Even if it is metaphorical..Sounds more like a satanic cult than not.

5.Become like children..Flesh eating and blood drinking children Of course...

6.Be born again.
( And just for the record, We know where wind comes from and also
where it goes. )

7. Be more righteous than the pharasies..
613 laws in the old testament and the pharasies followed them religiously. 100+ of those madated animal sacrifice..
Nobody can legally be more righteous than the pharasies and PETA would have your ass.

8.Just remember that this step is just one of 8..
No more or no less important than the other steps.
The other 7 steps have just as much weight as John 3:16...

SO, you have to love everyone and hate everyone.

Give up or sell all your stuff.

Eat flesh and drink blood.

Become like children and be born again.

Follow all 613 laws in the old testament

and believe in jesus...

So tell me now, according to these 8 steps, who's getting in and who is staying here with me? There's is room on my Ark.....